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Omeyer, the Weenie Wizard: Init +2; Atk short sword +3 melee (1d6) or magic staff +3 melee (1d4+7) or spell; Crit IV/d12 AC 12; HD 6d6+6 (36 hp); MV 30’; Act 1d20; SP magic staff, magic book, spellcasting (+8 spell checks) , spells: (1st) charm person, detect magic, magic missile, ventriloquism, ward portal, (2nd) fire resistance, wizard staff, (3rd) breath life, and dispel magic; SV Fort +3, Ref +1, Will +5; AL N.
Whether Omeyer was once a man whom
magical corruption turned into a living hot dog, or he was once a hot dog which
had somehow attained life, sentience, and a semi-humanoid form, is no longer
known if ever it was. Even Omeyer doesn’t seem to know. All of his spells have
manifestations relating to his form when possible. Charm person works through an appetizing aroma, for instance, and magic missile takes the form of mustard
streams and sauerkraut.
Omeyer’s magic staff acts as a +1 magical
weapon and can emit light in a 20 foot radius at Omeyer’s command. Omeyer gains
a +2 bonus when casting dispel magic
while wielding the staff, but takes 5d4 damage is the staff is ever destroyed.
Omeyer also
owns a magical book which comes from the World of the Red Doors, and was
written by the arch-sorcerer and wondrous artist Gokov Udaks. This magic book
allows the reader to use three rounds to summon a dog storm with a DC 25 spell check, as outlined below, attempted at
the end of the reading. Failure causes the readers 2d6 damage (3d6 on a natural
“1”).
Dog Storm: The reader calls down a storm of
small astral dogs from the heavens, targeting a point up to 500 feet away and covering
a radius of 200 feet. Anything in this radius which is struck by a dog (DC 25
Reflex save to avoid) takes 6d6 damage and must succeed in a Fort save (DC
equal to damage taken) or die. Cover grants a +2 to +8 bonus to the Reflex
save, depending upon the degree of cover as determined by the judge. Targets
with 100% cover are not affected The book’s reader must have line-of-sight to the
central point of impact. Once the astral dogs have impacted the ground, their
charred and pulverized corpses remain for 1d6 minutes before fading away,
although touching them at this point is no different than touching any similar burned
and smashed animal remains.
1d7
Encounters with the Weenie Wizard
1. Omeyer
is in a beerhall, trying to drown his sorrows with cheap ale. Inebriated, he
has a -4 penalty to all d20 rolls until sober once more. The Weenie Wizard is
aware of some nearby treasure he greatly desires, but he is not strong enough
to seek it alone…The judge is invited to use this as an adventure hook.
2. The
Weenie Wizard is haggling with an open-air baker, seeking to replace parts of
his bun which have gone decidedly moldy.
3. Hazards
of the Road. Omeyer is surrounded by wild dogs which cannot differentiate him
from any other sausage. He is grateful for any help.
4. Omeyer
is seeking the lost and fabulous Weinermobile, which is capable of traversing
between dimensions. If the PCs aid him, he offers them one ride into a strange
new world and back (allowing the judge to run a Mutant Crawl Classics,
Umerica, Weird Frontiers, etc., adventure).
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5. A rather dispirited Weenie Wizard seeks a source of condiments large enough to renew his mustard S-curl.
6. Omeyer
seeks out the five Hot Dog Suit characters that have fallen into this dimension
from a world not unlike our own. He seeks to have these hapless Hot Dogs as
acolytes and henchmen. If there is a PC using the Hot Dog Suit class, they are
among those sought by the Weenie Wizard. For more information, see The
Gongfarmer’s Almanac 2016, Volume 1.
7. Having
learned of another word by the great warlock-artist Gokov Udaks, Omeyer is on a
quest to acquire every slender volume of the Book of Hobos, which he
believes will reveal the location of a world of living meats. Perhaps, at last,
the Weenie Wizard may find a place where he fits in…
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