Saturday 20 May 2023

Yngwie Malmsteen: Trilogy

It’s been a while since I’ve done an album cover post, but the DCC RPG Rocks! group on Facebook has a post linking to an article about “The 50 most hilariously ugly rock and metal album covers ever”.  One of these is the cover for Yngwie Malmsteen’s album, Trilogy. There are, fittingly, three elements on the cover to stat up: the three-head dragon, the guitar, and the doomed hero. I am not certain whether or not the guitar is shooting flames, or merely acting as a shield against the dragon’s fiery breath. We will take these elements one at a time.

Polydor (Large three-headed dragon): Init +15; Atk Claw +16 melee (1d8 plus snatch), bite +16 melee (1d12), or tail slap +16 melee (1d20); AC 25; HD 15d12; hp 90 (30 hp per head); MV 60’ or fly 120’; Act 6d20 plus 1d20 (spells); SP see below; SV Fort +15, Ref +15, Will +15; AL C; Crit DR/2d16.

Breath Weapon: Line of fire 10’ wide and 3d6 x 10 long, 3/day, damage equal to Polydor’s current hp, Reflex save DC 25 for half.

Spells: 1d20+4 for spell check: Color spray.

Hypnotic Stare: Polydor can hypnotize targets with its gaze using an action die (Will DC 25 or stand stupefied as long as the dragon holds its gaze).

Snatch: On a successful claw attack, Polydor snatches a target, which takes 1d6 crushing damage each round thereafter. Polydor can fly with a snatched creature, and drop it from any height (1d6 per 10’ falling damage), but cannot attack with a claw used in the snatch attack. Snatched creatures can attempt to escape with a DC 25 Strength check.

Dive Bomb Attack: When fighting from the air, Polydor’s first round of claw and bite attacks receive an additional +4 attack bonus and +d8 damage.

Three-Headed: Polydor’s three heads can fight independently, and have their own hit point totals, as does a hydra. As a result, Polydor has three action dice for bite attacks.

Gust of Wind: Polydor can use her wings once per day to generate a powerful hurricane-strength wind, blowing in a single direction in cone shape up to 100’ wide at termination. Creatures must succeed in a DC 25 Strength check or be blown backward 150’, taking 15d4 damage.

The Instrument of Malmsteen: This artifact has taken many appearances throughout its long existence, and can manifest as a musical instrument of any type. It has the ability to rebound any one attack or spell on the attacker (or caster) once per round with a successful DC 10 Personality check. The Instrument of Malmsteen is indestructible, and can be used as a +1 weapon doing 1d7+1 damage whatever form it takes.

The Instrument of Malmsteen can only bond with one user at a time, and it takes 1 week of practice with it as a musical device, plus a successful DC 15 Personality check to bond with the Instrument. Once a user has bonded, if the owner allows another to bond with the Instrument, it will never again bond with them. However, once bonded, the owner can choose to gain warrior or wizard levels each time they reach the next XP requirement to level up (see Big Damn Heroes), essentially becoming a bard. The owner could have any class prior to bonding (including a race-class), thus allowing the owner to have three classes. Class levels gained in this way are not lost if the bond is broken, but the former owner can thereafter only progress in their original class. Manifestations of spells gained while bonded with the Instrument of Malmsteen always have a musical component.

The Doomed Hero (Thief 2, Warrior 1, Wizard 3): Init +2; Atk Instrument of Malmsteen +1d3+1 melee (1d7+1d3+1); AC 11; HD 2d6 + 1d12 + 3d4; hp 31; MV 30’; SP thief skills, 1d3 Deed Die, 1d4 Luck Die (12 Luck), spells; SV Fort +3, Ref +4, Will +3; AL L; Crit III/1d12.

Languages: Common, Thieves' Cant, Chaos, Eagle.

Thief Skills: Backstab +1, Sneak Silently +6, Hide In Shadows +4, Pick Pocket +6, Climb Sheer Surfaces +6, Pick Lock +4, Find Trap +4, Disable Trap +4, Forge Document +6, Disguise Self +0, Read Languages +2, Handle Poison +0, Cast Spell From Scroll (1d12+1 or as wizard)

Spells (+4 to Spell Check): Animal summoning, cantrip, chill touch, flaming hands, magic missile, mending, and forget.

The Doomed Hero bears the Instrument of Malmsteen and has a +1 bonus to Personality checks.

You can listen to the full album here.

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