How Not To Join A Game

You may or may not know that I am currently running a multi-player, multi-party game on Discord. It is very much open to just about anyone, but (for obvious reasons) everyone cannot play at once. There is currently one closed expedition, two active expeditions, and one expedition in the planning stages. There are also a number of people waiting in the wings to get into a game, and some open spots in the Fourth Expedition.

I received a PM in Discord a while back, and this is the absolutely wrong way to go about joining a game. Anyone who has read my blog (I should hope) knows that I strongly believe that the GM has obligations to their players, and that players have obligations to the GM. Expecting the GM to respond within 24 hours to your expression of interest? Expecting the GM to tell you what rooms in a Discord channel contain so you don't have to look yourself? Not the way to go about it.

I believe that the roles of players and GMs are based on mutual respect. They are not entirely the same roles. The GM is not just another player, and the GM has to put in more work than any given player if the game is to be satisfying. But both sides of the screen deserve respect. And both sides have both expectations and obligations.

Because the GM does most of the heavy  lifting, finding guides to help you be a better GM is not difficult. As of this writing, I have written six volumes on that topic.

Finding advice on how to be a great player is a little bit more difficult. I address it in Dispatches from the Raven Crowking, now available. 

Within, you will find advice for players of these games. I also try to show how the game differs from the players' and the GM's perspectives, which I believe is useful for anyone to understand.

It is currently only available in pdf, but the pdf is Pay What You Want, so feel free to give a copy to all of your players! And, if you think the contents are worth it, leave something in the tip jar when you do so.

Magic Items From Facebook

Here are three magic items for use in your campaigns, based on images from the Internet (two from Facebook) which I do not own. Enjoy!

Scroll of Bafflement: Whoever tries to read this scroll must roll under their intelligence on percentile dice or remain baffled as to its meaning for the next turn. Each turn, the would-be reader has a new chance to realize that it is meaningless and break free from the curse.

Otherwise, until personally attacked, the scroll is destroyed, or the reader collapses from sheer exhaustion, the curse carries on turn by turn, preventing the reader from taking any action whatsoever.

The Spinal Cat of Nine Torments:  This weapon is +3 to hit, causing d3+3 damage plus DC 15 Fort or Will save or lose next Action Die due to unbelievable torment. If save is successful, the target can act, but at -1d on the dice chain.

The Spinal Cat has animal intelligence and is Chaotic, communicating with empathic glee whenever it hurts something.

The wielder can choose to take temporary Stamina damage to increases the damage die, at a rate of 1 point per step (heals as normal) to a maximum damage of 1d16+3.

The Brick of Pleasure and Death: This enormous boxed set causes 1d30 damage to any creature it falls upon, plus 1d6 damage per full 10' fallen. 

Should an intelligent creature survive the bludgeoning damage caused by the heavy and prodigious materials therein, they must succeed in a DC 20 Will save or spend the next 1d3 hours enraptured by the contents. If another intelligent creature comes upon them during this time, it too must save or be enraptured for a like amount of time.

Every time no more creatures are enraptured by the contents, roll percentile dice. On a roll of 01 the red and bloated sun goes out.

Every time a new sentient creature discovers this item, the cycle begins anew. Even creatures unable to read are affected, because the art is stunning!

EDITS: The Brick of Pleasure and Death is even larger now, as its goals stretch forth. As a result, it does an additional 1d16 damage when it falls upon a target. As its goals stretch farther and farther, this damage may increase!

When the Brick of Pleasure and Death falls on a target, half the gold carried by the target disappears, absorbed into the Brick and never to be seen again. There are those fated to meet the Brick, who suffer this loss months before the Brick actually drops. These are known as Backers of the Brick. (With thanks to Jason Menard!)